The dress I didn't buy.

This week I was getting ready for the annual fundraising cocktail party for the Down Syndrome Association of Central Texas & instead of shopping for something new, I headed down to South Austin to my friend Kasi’s house to borrow a dress.

Kasi Martin of The Peahen fame is a sustainable fashion stylist, which means her closet is both beautiful and intentional, with pieces chosen with care, worn often, and styled in ways that keep them feeling fresh. You’ve certainly seen her styling work on the P&C website as we’ve been working together for over 9 years : ) 

Spending time with her always reminds me that style isn’t about having more, it’s about seeing what you already have, or have access to, in a new way.

Some years (most years!) I’m content to wear one of my two go-to fancier dresses that I got from my favorite ethical fashion boutiques, Green Roost & Terra Shepherd, who have already done the hard work of curating ethical brands.

But this year I found myself wanting to lean into the fun of getting all dressed up, having a babysitter & actually being out of the house for a change! Adult proms are a trend right now as I think we’re craving a bit more playfulness in the midst of what can feel like never ending routines. 

Of course, I could purchase another dress to add to my rotation, but I’d rather invest in a new pair of workout clothes at this stage of life as that’s what I tend to wear most days. 

Plus, I’m learning that there’s a mental load required to manage more than we actually use. Buying less has become less about restriction for me and more about clarity, knowing what I reach for, what lasts, and what actually supports my day to day life. 

Borrowing sits right in the middle of that shift. 

It keeps something new-to-me without adding something new to the world. 

It invites conversation, connection & a kind of generosity that doesn’t happen when everything is owned individually. There’s something grounding about wearing a piece that already has a story, especially when it comes from a dear friend!

It’s a chance to try out a new style, to learn something new about what you feel comfortable in & to get out a style rut without any risk at all. Of course it helps if you’re friend is a stylist, but this could totally work with any friend who is a similar size. 

I’ve also noticed that having the mindset of borrowing also changes how I think about quality the things I do purchase as I want to have clothes that others can borrow again & again. 

When you know an item will live multiple lives across different people and occasions, craftsmanship matters more. Fabric, fit, construction, all the things that make something last, not just physically, but stylistically. 

It’s the same reason we’ve leaned into timeless design with our bags. Fewer pieces, used more often, made well enough to last for years of swaps.

So this week, instead of a shopping trip, I got a morning with a friend, trying on options, talking through what feels like me right now (and a few that definitely!), and walking away with something that already belongs to a small circle of shared stories.